How to Support Children with Math Anxiety
- Math Happiness Project
- 24 hours ago
- 5 min read
Does your child tend to shut down when it’s time for math homework? Maybe they freeze when faced with a word problem, say things like “I’m just not good at math,” or avoid math altogether. These are common signs of math anxiety, and they’re more widespread than you might realize.
Math anxiety can make math feel overwhelming and stressful. It may take the form of tears, frustration, or even physical symptoms like stomachaches before school. Unfortunately, math anxiety doesn’t just make math harder, it can affect a child’s confidence, interfere with learning, and even lead to longer-term struggles in school.
Math Anxiety Affects Adults Too
It’s not just children who struggle. Roughly 93% of American adults report some level of anxiety when it comes to math, with 17% experiencing high levels (Luttenberger, et al., 2018). That means many of us are carrying our own math-related stress and it can affect how we support our kids.
Many adults were taught math in classrooms that prioritized speed, memorization, and procedures over true understanding. If you remember racing to finish timed tests or feeling lost when you didn’t “get it” right away, you’re not alone. For many of us, this pressure led to lasting feelings of confusion or even shame around math.
If that sounds familiar, you may want to start by addressing your own math anxiety. But in this post, we’ll focus on how to support your child.
So How Do You Support Children with Math Anxiety
If your child is showing signs of math anxiety, you’re not powerless. There are supportive, research-informed strategies that can help. Based on our experience as classroom teachers, math education experts, and parents, we have six steps for how to support children with math anxiety at home.
1. Acknowledge What’s Happening
The first step is naming the feeling your child is experiencing. Talk to your child about how math feels. If they express fear or frustration, acknowledge that feeling. Try saying something like:“It sounds like math is feeling really hard or stressful. That’s okay, and you’re not alone.”
Let your child know that anxiety can make math feel more difficult and that you're there to help them work through it. You might even ask if they have ideas for what would help math feel better.
2. Focus on Process, Not Perfection
Math can feel high-pressure for kids, especially if they believe it's all about getting the right answer quickly. That focus can fuel anxiety and cause children to shut down.
Start proactively shifting the focus in your house away from the answer and away from speed. Eliminate any speed-based math apps or expectations for your child.
Say things like:“I want us to focus on how you thought about it rather than the answer.”“Math is about thinking, not about being fast.”
Emphasize for your child that math is about thinking and exploring, not about speed or perfection. You might even share the story of Laurent Schwartz who won a global achievement award in mathematics, but worried throughout his school years that he was not good at math because he was always much slower than the other students.
3. Introduce Calming Strategies Before and During Math Time
When anxiety is high, it’s hard for the brain to focus or learn. Try using mindfulness strategies to help your child before math work begins. You can also use these strategies as a mid-work break as well if you notice your child’s anxiety is increasing. This could look like:
Taking three deep breaths together
Doing a short, gentle stretch or movement break
Saying a calming affirmation like: “I am capable. I can do this”
Singing a familiar, upbeat song (like “If You’re Happy and You Know It”) to reset their mood
These tools help create space between the anxiety and the task at hand.
4. Encourage a Growth Mindset
Talk with your child about how math is something they can get better at with practice and effort. Math is not just something you're either "good at" or not. Use phrases that focus on growth, like:
“You don’t understand it yet, but you’re working on it.”
“Mistakes are how we learn and grow.”
“Your brain gets stronger every time you try something hard.”
Help your child reframe challenges as opportunities to grow, rather than as evidence they’re “not a math person.”
5. Normalize Mistakes and Embrace Learning
Help your child understand that mistakes are valuable. Neuroscience research shows that our brains grow more when we make a mistake and think about it than when we get the right answer immediately.
Share stories from your own life. Let your child hear how you respond when you make mistakes.
Normalize the idea that struggling is part of learning, not a sign that you’re bad at math.
6. Bring Math Into Everyday Life in Low-Stress Ways
Encourage mathematical discussions outside of homework time. Start casually noticing when math comes up in everyday life such as when planning what time you need to leave, how many rolls to make, or how to double a recipe.
Focus on math in more open and light-hearted ways such as through games and questions like those we share in our Math Thinking Monday series.
Help your child see math as more than a pressure-filled situation where they must repeat certain steps to get to an answer as quickly as possible.
Books like Bedtime Math can be a great way to bring in math in a fun, low-pressure way.
You can also model this mindset yourself. If your child hears you say things like “I’ve never been good at math,” try shifting it to something like:“I used to struggle with this too, but I’ve learned so much by sticking with it.”
A Word About Homework and Math Anxiety
If math homework is causing tears or meltdowns, it’s worth having a conversation with your child’s teacher. You might ask about:
Reducing the number of problems
Letting your child choose a few problems to focus on (choice can help empower your child and reduce feelings of helplessness which can contribute to math anxiety)
Skipping math homework temporarily while you work through the anxiety
Pushing through math homework in tears rarely leads to understanding. In fact, it can deepen math anxiety. Prioritize your child’s emotional wellbeing as you rebuild their confidence.
Supporting Your Child Through Math Anxiety Takes Time
Helping your child develop a healthier relationship with math doesn’t happen overnight. These strategies aren’t quick fixes, but over time, they can shift how your child feels about and approaches math.
If you’re looking for more personalized support, we’re here to help. Our coaching calls are designed to help you create a plan that works for your family. We can focus on anxiety as well as potential gaps in mathematical understanding that may need to be addressed to help your child feel more confident.
You can also download a summary of all of these steps in our one-page Math Anxiety Quick Start Guide!
References:
Luttenberger S, Wimmer S, Paechter M. Spotlight on math anxiety. Psychol Res Behav Manag. 2018 Aug 8;11:311-322. doi: 10.2147/PRBM.S141421. PMID: 30123014; PMCID: PMC6087017.
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